This is Pamela’s story:
Having hated school from 4 to 10 years old, my parents and I eventually found out home education was legal and they withdrew me from middle school. I didn’t realise until I was an adult but I had definitely developed school trauma in that time and (though I now know I love learning) believed that I hated most subjects… maths, history, French, science, music, PE, English, art, the list goes on. I quickly dropped many ‘non essential’ subjects and chose to focus on things my mum said I’d need (maths and English) and the subjects I enjoyed; geography and biology. Over the next few years we studied these using a few Letts and CGP books but primarily discussion, research in encyclopedias, encarta cd rom (yes i am that old) and general real life investigations and visits. I took IGCSEs in those subjects and passed 5 to ensure I could do anything I chose going forward.I staggered exams over 2 years so there was minimal pressure and it freed up time to focus on things that would serve me well and that re-lit the spark in me that school had extinguished. I did swimming, singing, dancing, tennis, roller blading, baking, gardening, agriculture, looked after my animals and one of my favourite things, setting up businesses. Not for profit, just for the experience and fun of it. I sourced things, researched the laws and regulations, created the marketing materials etc. I loved it. I didn’t really need a degree but I wanted to prove everyone wrong who told me and my parents that I’d ‘fail in life and never pass exams’. So I did A-Levels then a degree with the Open University followed by a masters degree at a normal university, all alongside working two jobs. Since the age of 16 I have worked in various roles ranging from tourist information (my first job which I loved and was told home ed genuinely resulted in me getting the job), destination marketing, retail management, business development management and have had an estate agency business with my husband. We have recently sold our successful business to focus on our wellbeing and children who I home educate too.
Charlotte’s story: I am now 33, and have 4 children who are all diagnosed autistic. We home educate them and I have been diagnosed as autistic in adulthood after figuring it all out myself. Not having my needs recognised in the school setting I went to would have contributed to the difficulties I faced. I attended first, middle and high school. But during high school I was being bullied relentlessly. After numerous times of my mum contacting the school and trying to speak to them, nothing changed. I would spend most of my school days hiding in the bathroom toilet cubicles, too scared to attend lessons. One day a new lie was spread about me and things took it up a notch even more so. I walked out the school gates and knew I wouldn’t be going back again. Unfortunately, I tried to take an overdose that evening. I quickly recovered in hospital and from that point my mum said I would not be going back to school. The school asked me to attend a medic unit for a short period of time where they prepared me to once again attend, but my mum put her foot down and said no, I was not attending. And she deregistered me. From that point (midway through year 10) I was home educated. Home education literally saved my life. I can say truthfully and honestly that if I had been made to go back, I wouldn’t be here today. My mum paid for me to sit 3 gcses, English, maths and a science as at that point we thought those were the important ones to pass and the school had led me to believe I had already completed one gcse in health and social care as it was a double unit (turns out, I hadn’t). I passed all 3 at C, which was the highest I could have got as I chose to take the foundation level. I went on to study child care, began on the level 3 as although I didn’t have the gcses (I needed 4) to be accepted for that course, they could tell from talking to me that I would have the ability to complete the course, and once passed that btec I worked in child care for many years, progressing to managerial level. I have now chosen to be self employed and home educate my children (which is absolutely necessary for their mental health, well-being and their care needs). We learned through life at home. I would help my mum with the household chores. She paid for college courses for me to attend to also help my education, I did a dressmaking course for example. I attended an art club etc. For me, personally, I struggle with friendships and it wasn’t something I wanted to have on a daily basis, as school makes it. I had friends locally, who I still saw regularly. But I didn’t have any home ed friends. It hasn’t hindered me in any way. Even now I have very limited people around me who I call ‘friend’ but that’s ok. Not everyone wants or needs a large circle of ‘friends’. My eldest tried school when she was 6 after asking a lot. She lasted a few days and said she really didn’t like it and it made her upset. I deregistered her immediately. I’ve always said, yes, I would let my children try if they really wanted to – but if it were to become so I couldn’t deregister at ease, then I wouldn’t risk it. There is nothing a school setting can give positively to my children. They wouldn’t be able to cope with any element of a school day.
Alex was home educated officially from being CSA (term after turning 5), but their older siblings came to home education when Alex was 1.
I didn’t know school, I was a baby when my brothers were deregistered, so being young I just knew fun, travelling, playing, learning. Life was just life. I had friends who went to school, and when we played ‘schools’ I would be teacher, and I am not sure how, but I knew that ‘sit still’ and ‘be quiet’ were part of school. It was not something I wanted to experience, though I knew I could if I wanted to.
I loved playing with my kitchen, and quickly progressed to the real kitchen, baking and cooking, and even applying to junior bake off. I was reading and writing as soon as I possibly could, I asked for maths questions as I lay in bed before falling asleep, I would ask for workbooks for fun, I loved learning and there were no limits to what I could do or when. I remember learning about aerodynamics with us all stood on the dining table dropping home made parachutes and aeroplanes. Or using the KNEX to build bridges between the sofa and the stool and balancing things on it to see how strong we could make them. Or creating ramps to roll things down to learn about friction. We travelled around Europe and loads of the UK, 5 or 6 times a year we would be off somewhere exciting, always on a budget, which I think made it more exciting. We would go on days out, and meet up with friends. Many of our friends went to school, so after school hours our home and garden were full of children, mum would often have 6 of us on the dining room floor with a bowl and a mixing spoon making something yummy, or creating mini sports days in the garden, or craft activities with 5 to 16 years olds all laughing together at the table.
As my brothers headed to GCSEs and college my mum’s health wasn’t too good, a lot of time was just me and mum, so we had a chat and I decided to give school a try. It would mean mum could rest and I would have opportunity to be with friends. It was supposed to be a new kind of school, one that focuses on topics rather than subjects, one that encourages independence and responsibility for your own actions, on paper it was going to be amazing. But teenagers will be teenagers, and teachers came from old style schools so struggled with this new way of learning. Learning which was akin to what I was used to. It wasn’t working, bitchiness amongst the girls, rowdiness amongst the boys, just made it impossible for me to be happy. I was also becoming aware that like my oldest brother I was probably autistic and most likely ADHD to go with it. At home I had been free to be myself, but in school, despite the nature of the school, there were still requirements to conform to their rules, which were not very neurodiverse friendly. I actually ended up being the person in class that would calm ADHD kids, or help when there was an autistic meltdown happening. I would walk out of the class with a student to provide support, as teachers never knew what to do.
I was contemplating my options when COVID hit, and due to my mum’s health, when schools reopened school agreed I was not to return. Unfortunately they were supposed to send learning home for me and didn’t, we were dealing with a lot at home, and my learning whilst it plodded along, took a back seat for a while. School didn’t care.
I decided to do 5 GCSEs, school were paying (unlike if I was officially home ed where mum would have to pay), and I studied hard, but I’d lost my interest in the syllabus, it was so rigid and not where my interests lay. I had been part of a theatre company for years and this was what I wanted to do. I was offered a place at a prestigious acting college. However mid the first year I realised that acting was fun, but it wasn’t where I saw my future. My mum has always supported my decisions, and with some discussion I decided to look for work, aged 16. It happened quite quickly and that week I applied for an apprenticeship in a local nursery. I’ve been there nearly a year and my aim is to become a SENCO. Whilst I am still waiting on my ASD and ADHD assessment it has become clearer the older I get that I am both, and so is my mum (diagnosed in her 40’s), I see the importance of early diagnosis and want to offer that to other children.
Staffordshire website design and website SEO by Fellowship Studios.
Keep up to date with home ed news, important info and some fun stuff.
